dear ortega foods,
if i wanted to make taco salad with tortilla chips, i’d’ve bought tortilla chips. but what i wanted to make was tacos. and so i bought your whole grain taco shells (again) and was disappointed (again) to discover that despite your “freshness tray to cushion and protect them,” i had apparently purchased a box of tortilla chips.
this is the third time in as many months this has happened to me. and it’s not me – it’s you. because i bag my own groceries, so i treat these like a friggin’ faberge egg, never bagging them with anything more dangerous than perhaps a bag of – you know – tortilla chips. so, fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me. fool me three times (damn those coupons!) and this is what you get. an open letter of ranting and railing against your lousy fucking packaging. i don’t have this problem with old el paso‘s taco shells – and they’re only wrapped in plastic in the box!
so i’m breaking up with you, the same way you’ve broken up with me, time and time again. only this time i won’t be back. no amount of coupons will entice me. sure, i’m sad i’m going to miss out on your whole grains versus their plain ‘ol corn. but it simply is no comparison when it comes to consistency. they’re always there for me. you’re not.