“this’ll only take a few minutes” – translates roughly to “this is totally easy, based on either a id-10t error or a loose nut between the keyboard and the chair”

“the best choice is to rebuild it/start over” – translates to “i’ll take it back to the office if you want, but basically, you’re f$#ked, and i hope you backed your $hit up sometime in the past decade” and

“this’ll take 15 minutes, tops.” – which translates to “this is actually going to take all night, and possibly half of tomorrow, because no matter how close i get to fixing it, there will be one last corrupted file and/or one last missing driver and/or one final fatal error that will keep you from your lunch/dinner/bedtime.

to which i’ve told him that the best way to keep jobs in the first or second catagory is to avoid claiming they fit in the third under any and all circumstances.

a funny thing happened yesterday, though. he didn’t curse a thing. in fact, he didn’t even make any claim as to how long it was going to take to do anything. wordpress, though, did me in. wordpress told me that upgrading the software on my blog would “famously take five minutes.” yeah, well… no. not really.

oh, *downloading* the upgrade took way less than five minutes. heck, even installing it still had me way under. it was the actual act of upgrading that got screwed. that, it turns out, had the infamous 15-minute curse written all over it. i should have known.

so here i am, finally, almost 24 hours later, almost completely back to normal. and in fact, in many ways, a better than normal. because now that the stupid upgrade seems to be working, i got to make a few cool changes. like adding some new *clickables* over yonder <— (howdy, doubleclicktech and bake@350!! ) and i was finally able to turn commenting back on, because i was finally able to include an actual, workable spam filter. so!

so thanks for enduring the black out. i’ll try not to have another for another couple of years. or so. ;op

but i digress…

this recent episode of bullying comes not from their hyper-vigilant police force (although they were involved) but instead from city hall. (“city hall” – ha!! another joke!!!) you know that sad little place tucked away over there alongside of sammoon center, used to be mustang sports and recently became 3star ice? i had high hopes for them. just a couple of guys, wanted to do somethinggood for the community. moved in and poured their hearts and souls into renovatingthe rink for hockey. give the kids around here somethingelse to do. and they busted their asses on it; first renovatingthe original rink, making it a roller rink for roller hocky, roller derby, skating lessons and so forth and so on. then they were going to put in an actual ice rink (hence the name, 3star ice) for actual ice hockey. i know, right? ice hockey down here in southwest texas! but you note the use of past-tense, right?

because apparently the folks over there at shenandoah have decided they didn’t want to deal with those pesky kids. they like things nice and quiet around there… the city (or shity, you know… “city” and “shenandoah” put together) insisted that the building be connected to their water and sewer systems. never mind that the building already has (and has had) serviceable water and sewer for over twenty years.never mind that no one ever said, claimed or even alleged that the water being used on site was ever supposed to be potable. never mind the when the shity issued it’s “special use permit” it knew full-well that the buildingit’s requiring be connected was going to be demolished in twelve months or less and a new building be built (and, of course connected). never mind that anyone could have had the well that is there tested for safety at any point in time. never mind that the septic system is also in working order. they went ahead and gave a deadline of january 1, 2010. the problem is, 3star (the renter/occupant of the building) didn’t find out that the land owner was going to let it be their problem until december, 2009. but did they whine or complain? no… they busted ass to get someone in there in a hurry, during the holiday season no less, to get them connected up. ah, but there’s the rub… connect to…. what? well, it helps if you can be told where the $#!& the connections are that the $#!&ing shity want you to connect to, right? but it seems that was just too much effort on the shity’s part. couldn’t get around to providing that little tid-bit of info. so they didn’t.

and in fact, the shity has actually been served with a subpoena to obtain said drawings. why a subpoena? oh, funny story. the shity sued one of the individuals that operates the facility. not the land owner. not the renter. one of the employees of the renter, individually. actually got a judge to issue a restraining order – and issue it without requiring service! and then sent one of their boys in blue (black?) over there to change the locks!!

and as for the suit, i can’t make this stuff up. you have to read it for yourself. they actually said that the shity (and i really am quoting here) “has no adequate remedy at law for the damages and injuries it will suffer if the injunctive relief is not granted because damages are incalculable.” and they “cannot provide a monetary amount sufficient to reimburse the harm caused to itself and its citizens.” in other words, the shity can’t calculate for the court the amount of money it’s losing because 3star is operating in their temporary facilities with running water and operating septic system that isn’t hooked up to shity systems that, incidentally, the shity has yet to reveal the whereabouts of to 3star. so it’s only relief of this alleged hemorrhage of funds is to shut the place down, without proper notice, they send a cop over there to change the locks to ensure they don’t even have access to their stuff to go do business elsewhere, and send cops around to harass anyone that happens to come by. in other words, if the shity ain’t making money, ain’t nobody making money.

oh! and speaking of money (because it’s always about the money) the heart of this whole matter? it isn’t the water. it isn’t the septic. it isn’t even really the kids, or hockey. it’s that the shity wants part of the land. for itself. you know, because they’re so bleedin’ successful at making land investments. that’s why the portofino center is nearly half empty. and the new tiny shopping center behind portofino is completely empty and has been since the day it was built. and the buildings just north of portofino that were supposed to be office condos are now ghost-town-esque skeletons with rotted and peeling tar paper and tyvek.

it has nothing to do with the safety of citizens. and it sure as shit has nothing to do with water. if the shity of shenandoah was so flippin’ concerned with whether or not it’s citizens and surrounding communities had safe water and operational sewage sytems, the folks over there in tamina would have had it long before now.

so f%#k you, shenandoah. i hope the woodlands swallows you whole and spits you out. a$$holes.

but what got the local media all abuzz was item #81: six woodlands water taxis getting a new home in Texas ($750,000). and i have to say, despite the fact that fox news is tv for the lemmings led by the blind, and despite the fact that i live here and so therefore feel obligated to defend the dignity of the woodlands, i have to say i agree. i mean really – have you seen the waterway? when it’s not green, it’s brown. but that’s just because the moss and algae have died off – you know, winter and all. and riding the water “taxis” is a complete waste of money and time anyway. the route is nearly a mile long, but it doesn’t actually go anywhere that you can’t get to in an easier fashion, like say, on foot. or if you’re in a hurry, on the trolley, which, by the way, is free, runs more often, has more stops, you can even exit anywhere along the line.

and even if you do have the time and money to waste, i ask again, have you seen the waterway? it’s totally gross! to quote another resident, “The waterway has turned out to be nothing more than a backed up drainage ditch. I am not suggesting that we should have glass bottom boats but, who wants to ride down a brown canal then turn around and go back? Why isn’t there some sort of filtering mechanism to put fresh water into it rather than let it be stagnant?” it’s totally true. despite the fact that the waterway could have created a link between lake woodlands and lake robbins, which, though really are nothing more than detention ponds anyway, would have at least offered an interesting waterway to want to tool around on. but instead, there’s a dam between the two lakes, both of which almost always have stagnant water. the only time the water even remotely looks inviting is right around the aerating fountains out by the highway.

so yeah, trying to keep the water taxis going is a complete waste of money. unless of course, we’re attempting to make the brown water green again by, you know, adding “green” to it. heh. wow, not even funny by my own low standards.

if we’re all just bumbling around trying to come up with a way to spend three-quarter mil, how about getting the damn traffic lights on the parkway synchronized? or running the trolleys till a reasonable hour, like say, 10:00?

Yen from Ocean's 11

for my loyal followers (all, what, eight of you?) that have been wondering just that, let me tell you:

• i added a new talent to my list of things i can do and get paid doing. no, nothing dirty, you gutter-dweller. i’ve become a web designer. Wo0t!
• i became increasinly obsessed with my new job, which, since i am after all, autonomous now, means i’m working like a dog for a complete bitch of a boss.
• i finally filed my taxes. don’t know what the f$^k took me so long, seeing as how i’m getting a hefty, healthy refund.
• i filed my mom’s taxes. or at least, i’ve gotten the job about 90% done. the remaining 10% of the job is 1% printing and mailing them and 9% explaining to her what the hell i did.
• i put on fifteen pounds. okay, not really. not just in six weeks. but sometimes i feel like that’s all it took. really though, it took a bit over 28 months, and i have to tell you, the self-loathing is palatable.
• i dined in several more restaurants for free (which probably has something to do with that 15 pounds. i’m just sayin’) due to either shitty service or shitty food or both.
• i stumbled upon a wine that could possibly make a wine-drinker out of me yet. aided and abetted by boyfriend’s declaration that hey, they say a glass of red wine a day is good for you.
• i picked up three more weekly hours of television that is in my “must see” list, bringing the total up to 14 1/2. thank god they don’t all run at the same time during the night, during the week, and in most cases even, during the year. keeps me down to a much more manageable 3 to 4 hours a week. but for you studio execs paying attention, take note: i am in the coveted 28-34 age group, a woman and firmly in the middle class. here’s the list of what must be seen…

          – grey’s anatomy                  - burn notice

          – private practice                 - white collar

          -  the deep end                    - in plain site

          – lie to me                           - psych 

          – house                              - mythbusters

          – the good wife                  - dirty jobs

          – life unexpected               - real time w/bill maher

          – and for some variety, a 30-minute show… tosh.0

• i went in for my yearly perm… only about four months later than usual. ahhhh…. bouncy curls once more.
• i discovered twhirl by seesmic, and wondered wtf i was waiting for, not having a real-time twitter feed on my desktop.
• i started a spreadsheet (a spreadsheet!) of new songs i wanna download find.
• i had a pointless email exchange with some higher-ups at hp, in which i attempted to get myself a new pc. for free. still might. i’m trying to kill this one. just kidding!!! damn p.o.s. will most likely implode any day now, just like it did the first three times. motherboard just goes kablooie. lesson here, kidlets – don’t buy an hp. dude, get a dell.

and so it goes… i got a lot of shit done. put some more irons in the fire. and thought every single day, “i really gotta blog.”

i did, i swear!!

so, forgive me? good. i’ll try not to let it lapse again. seriously.

in first place is the southwest corner of lake robbins drive and six pines road. i don’t know what it is, but i was really hoping that they would have fixed it when they rebuilt the pavillion. i swear to god it smells like somewhere just below the surface or behind the trees there is a conglomeration of all the septic tanks and all the food waste from the pavillion, and all the dead fish from the waterway. and it only got worse after the rebuilding. maybe that’s part of the problem with keeping a restaurant on the southeast corner; if you dine outside and the wind is right, you can smell it over there, too. you aren’t even safe in your car! i’ve developed a habit now of ensuring my sunroof is closed and my a/c is set on recycle when i drive by there.

a close second to this would be in the parking lot just behind cafe express and grotto. somehow, despite the fact that it’s only the dumpsters for two restaurants vs. the several that dump across lake woodlands drive behind p.f. chang’s, walking though the parking lot to go to either of these restaurants can surely make you loose your appetite altogether. and maybe even make you gag.

please, for the sake of our noses and appetites, figure out some way to get these horrifying odors expelled. if you want us to walk around and enjoy the scenery, you have to make it pleasant on all the senses.

i know you’ve been by a few times. and i don’t mind. in fact, i’m flattered, really. but – well, just one question…

seriously.

boyfriend and i went back to ambience tonight. during happy hour no less. and let me tell you – first of all, what they advertise online – “free appetizers during happy hour” – is not true. our enormous waiter said “at one time” they “used to give out free nachos.” but apparently not tonight, some idle thursday.

secondly, the drink specials were still not that special; $1.50 off a $6.50 martini is still steep. give me half off if you want to call it special. the only thing special about it is i do have quite the buzz. i’ll give them that. don’t try this yourself, kids, but i am probably just a wee bit to the south of not a safe driver right now. at least i can blog with a buzz. pfffftttt.

so anyway, there are no free appetizers; this being thursday, i expected karoke as both their website and the banner on the side of the place promised, but alas, no – just more food network without sound on the projection screen. we were one of only four tables that were either already there or seated after our arrival within about an hour’s time (between 6:45 and 8:15). and the dinner specials do include both sides of the menu… but apparently that depends on which waiter you get. of course, the other “waiter” was the bartender. maybe he just wanted a bigger tip.

we got lucky.

all in all, i still maintain that there is no new ambiance to be found at ambience, and if you want cheap drinks and a bigger crowd, you may as well head down the road to Cheddar’s.

first of all, i address your speed – the limit on the parkway is 45. the flow of traffic was roughly 50. i was doing roughly 50. just because i was in the left hand lane, and you wanted to beat me to the light, does not give you the right to speed up to 65 and pass me on the right, flipping me the bird along your trajectory.

secondly, for all that anger, you only managed to get one whole car-length ahead of me and then stay there the entire time until you reached your destination.

thirdly, you truly are an a$$hat, for cutting off the poor woman that needed in our lane as we crossed the bridge in order to not get routed off the road.

and finally, you are a disgrace of an example to your no-doubt already ruined children whom you surely were picking up from the park – which, by the way, you only managed to turn left into without signaling a fraction of a second faster for having passed me in the first place.

a$$hat.

it’s the minivan, isn’t it? that’s what’s made you so bitter. minivan-man.

but can i just say it was cruel and heartless enough when i noticed the black lab mix penned up in a 6′ x 10′ dog run attached to the back end of a metal building on the blinding white concrete this past spring when it was pouring rain at an inch-an-hour and all he had for shelter was a sheet of plywood to hover under. it’s downright torturous now that its over 103 degrees in the shade – there is absolutely no excuse why this poor animal can’t be taken indoors or at the very least, to someone’s home that has a yard offering some shade and perhaps cool grass to lie in.

holy f^&$-nuggets. some people are complete and total a$$hats when it comes to animal ownership.

and by the whole thing, i mean the whole. damn. thing.

they hadn’t packed one box, taken down one picture or cleaned out one drawer! needless to say i was duely appreciated, but i wasn’t appreciating the workload all that much. at least on sunday we got out and about some, but being so exhausted it might have been better to just hole up in the hotel and sleep for the bulk of the day.

got back into town on tuesday only to discover that no one had really done a damn thing for me back home, either, so it took me until today to really get caught up… only to have today be the number three busiest day of the month for me.

and it’s always rough to be reminded how used to the feeder road system i’ve become here in texas. the boyfriend still seemed to struggle just a bit with the “freeway entrance here –>” signs, looking for longer onramps and offramps. at least my childhood memories kept us from pissing off too many natives.

but enough whining.

as for what it was like when we did actually get out of the office out there, i was once again reminded that i absolutely miss being a west coast girl. not that i don’t love living here, mind you. but there’s so much to do and so much to see and so many places to go out there. and when the average daily high out there is lower than the average nightly low here, coupled with sea breezes and miles and miles of oceanfront and the occasional celebrity sighting, well, it’s hard to say goodbye.

but alas, i did. and here i am. and i’ll try to be here more often now. thanks for sticking around.