meanwhile, how you doin’?

it’s been a long year; it’s been a short year. it’s been a fast year, that’s for damn sure. but all in all, it’s been a good year. i made yet another major change in my life by opting to stay with what i thought was an insane plan last fall, which was to become self-employed. it has it’s ups and downs to be sure, and there’s something to be said as to the implied “perk” of being able to work in your pajamas, but for the most part – it was a great decision and i’m glad i went with it.

and i guess that’s sort of the reason why i haven’t been blogging so much this year, or at least, these last few months. because for the most part, my blog was created as a place to blow off steam – at the world in general, at people around me in particular and what was usually my co-workers specifically. and like in other times in my life, when the chips were down for me, i focused all of my energies – good and bad – into my work; which usually resulted in having steam to blow off. but because my life is good now – great even (i won’t say “perfect” – no one’s life is perfect and if they say so, they’re lying), there’s far less steam. hence, less biotching. which is what i’ve been reflecting on these past weeks.

whether you know me or not, it’s usually pretty apparent that i *heart* alanis morissette. at barely 18 months my senior, she is easy for me to relate to in her life experiences (not the touring and being famous parts, the i have had my heart broken and dropped a spoon in the garbage disposal parts) and her ways of expressing herself have resonated with me for most of my adult life. granted, many artists have crafted songs, poems, lyrics, paintings, musings and photographs that have touched me in one way or another; but she has masterfully matched my life experiences year after year and given voice to the voice in my head by saying the things i could not say, relating to my joys and my pains in real, human ways and sharing the same feelings and emotions i have felt and had.

the first time i had my heart completely and totally trampled upon – i mean absolutely crushed; ripped still-beating from my body, thrown to the floor, stomped, kicked, cut up and ran over – was in 1998. i’d only discovered alanis about a year and a half previous, but imagine if you will how the lyrics to “you oughta know,” “right through you” and “you learn” gave voice to my anger and heartache. i would max out the volume and sing at the top of my voice to “Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner. It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced, are you thinking of me when you fuck her?“ how much i identified with “forgiven” having come from a strict christian upbringing.  then later, when i wanted so desperately to prove myself at the office and was repeatedly ignored, how much “wake up” resounded with me, with lines like, “there’s an underestimated and impatient little girl raising her hand.” later that same year, when a (much) older (married) ex-supervisor from a previous job starting calling me to offer his sympathy/get me to like him, i’d listen to “uninvited” off the city of angels soundtrack… “Like anyone would be, I am flattered by your fascination with me. Like any hot-blooded woman, I have simply wanted an object to crave. But you? You’re not allowed – you’re uninvited.”

the next two years or so, i dove headlong into my career, spending first nine, then ten, then sometimes up to twelve hours a day at the office. i didn’t know what to do with myself in my off time, really. i baked, a lot. and didn’t eat much at all. alanis released “supposed former infatuation junkie” in 1998 and i admit, i nearly wore it out. and as time went on and i was better able to turn my past pain into anger at my ex, the song “are you still mad” helped keep the tears in check as i learned of his life moving forward. instead i would hold my head up, and when at home at night and on weekends, baking or cleaning, i would dance and sing with “thank you” and “so pure.” sometimes in low moments, i’d listen to “unsent” and relate matthew, johnathan, marcus, terrance and lou to exes from high school, or crushes i’d had but ignored. her “mtv unplugged” album released around that same time, and because i was alone a lot, i would relate to “these are the thoughts” and “king of pain” easily. in fact, i found myself feeling sorry for myself a lot, come to think of it. making songs like “that i would be good,” “the couch,” “can’t not” and “your congratulations” feel cathartic to me. balm for my wounds.

but then i met he-who-would-destroy-me. oh, not that i knew that’s who he was at the time. oh, no. at the time, he was every bit my knight in shining armor. he was the one who made me smile as i sang along with “head over feet.” he was my “prince familiar.” little did i know that only after i made the plunge – dove feet first into a relationship all my closest friends and my own father warned me against, not to mention my very own logic and reason, it would become apparent he was instead my “sympathetic character.” not that i ever let on.

in a matter of months, just under a year really, my strong, independent, free-thinking self became yet again an empty, blackened shell. i took all that was good in me, boxed it up and placed it on a high shelf in the back of my mind, where it’s warm glow peeking out of the cracks would burn me whenever i’d let myself wonder what i had gotten myself into. i had tried many times to explain alanis and what she meant to me to this man. i could have better explained it to a penguin. when i bought ”under rug swept” and listened to it (safely in the refuge of my car, on my long commutes), i found myself fighting back tears at lines such as “i’m 13 again am i 13 for good?” in “so unsexy.” or “I’ll be worthy right? Only when you realize the gem I am.” from “precious illusions.” later that same year, the album “feast on scraps” was released, and i found myself trying desperately to latch onto that precious little box i’d packed up. i looked in the proverbial mirror with lyrics such as, “This talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone” from “fear of bliss.” i’d lost all ability to stand on my own two feet. i felt abandoned by everyone i trusted, and found myself blaming them with lines like, “You’re essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me. You’re kind of my protégé and one day you’ll say you learned all you know from me. I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian…” from “hands clean.” but the truth was it was me who had done the abandoning. i had gotten myself into this situation, i would have to get myself out.

somewhere along the way i got to see alanis live again. this time it was an acoustic set, and about halfway through that show, she sang “sympathetic character.” by that point, angry, hurt, and struggling to find any joy in being there at all, it was all i could do to sit still as the lines washed over me -

I was afraid you’d hit me if i’d spoken up,  I was afraid of your physical strength I was afraid you’d hit below the belt I was afraid of your sucker punch I was afraid of you reducing me. I was afraid of your alocohol breath, I was afraid of your complete disregard for me I was afraid of your temper. I was afraid of handles being flown off of I was afraid of holes being punched into walls I was afraid of your testosterone.

I have as much rage as you have - I have as much pain as you do - I’ve lived as much hell as you have - and i’ve kept mine bubbling under, for you.

you were my best friend, you were my lover, you were my mentor, you were my brother, you were my partner, you were my teacher - you were my very own sympathetic character.

I was afraid of verbal daggers I was afraid of the calm before the storm,  I was afraid for my own bones. I was afraid of your seduction I was afraid
of your coersion I was afraid of your rejection I was afraid of your intimidation I was afraid of your punishment I was afraid of your icy silences
I was afraid of your volume. I was afraid of your manipulation I was afraid of your explosions.

I have as much rage as you have - I have as much pain as you do - I’ve lived as much hell as you have – and i’ve kept mine bubbling under, for you.

you were my best friend, you were my lover, you were my mentor, you were my brother, you were my partner, you were my teacher, you were my very own sympathetic character. you were my keeper, you were my anchor, you were my family, you were my saviour. and therein lay the issue; and therein lay the problem.

by this time i’d settled into a routine; the real me buried, the outer me wooden and stoic, like a russian nesting doll. i almost perfected projecting this façade. i had to. to let it show any cracks or weakness was to invite punishment, and i had no strength to ward it off. every ounce of unused energy i had left had to go into the rediscovery and rebuilding of myself. i knew i was in there somewhere, i just had to get out. i listened to “sorry to myself” a lot then. “For blaming myself for all of your unhappiness and for my impatience when I was perfect where I was. Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready, and expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be.” i had to apologize to myself, before anyone else.

alanis released “so-called chaos” in 2004 and i bathed in it. it spoke to me. hell, it was me. from “8 easy steps:” “How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment, How to defer to men in solveable predicaments, How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you… How to keep people at arms length and never get too close, How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most, How to pretend you’re fine and don’t need help from anyone, How to feel worthless unless you’re serving or helping someone.” yeah, i could teach you all that in eight easy steps. then “My tendency to want to do away feels natural and my urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable.” from “out is through.” and then, from “excuses,” “These excuses how they served me so well; they’ve kept me safe, they’ve kept me stuck – they’ve kept me locked in my own cell.” and the hits just kept coming… from “not all me,” “It’s not all me, it’s not all my fault…” then, “Heartburn and headaches and soon-to-be ulcers. Compulsive yearnings non-stop to please others.” from “so-called chaos.” it was like i’d been doused with ice water the first time i heard “spineless:” “I’ll be low maintenance and agreeable. I will not talk about my dreams so much. I’ll listen to you for hours, won’t need anything…” is that what i had become? spineless? yes. so i began to grow a new one. i began to regrow altogether. it started with “everything:” “I can be an asshole of the grandest kind. I can withhold like it’s going out of style…”

like it or not, i taught myself to be an asshole. and i got out. i shed it all like 350 pounds of lead and learned to be weightless over the next two years or so. and, right on schedule, in 2008, alanis released “flavors of entanglement.” which was perfect. because i was finally, really, actually happy. not happy on the outside, dying on the inside. happy all the time.

well, most of the time. sometimes life at the office was a biotch. but since i was finally at a place in my life where my focus was on me, and not my work, it became easier to learn to leave it at the office at the end of the day. i stuck with eight-hour days. i think i gave up only one saturday in nearly three years. meanwhile, alanis sang, “I come alive and I get giddy I am taken and globally naturalized,” in “citizen of the planet.” i met the bf and laughed and sang with her, “You are the sexiest man I’ve ever been with. You, never hotter than with armor spent.” “in praise of the vulnerable man.” when i pushed back, it was he who said i was listening to bad tapes in my head. which was funny, really, because it just so happened there was a song called “tapes” on “flavors of entanglement.” those tapes said things like, “I’m but thorn in your sweet side” and ”You are better off without me.” i’m glad now i didn’t listen. and as time went on, i started to notice i hardly heard any of it at all. i began to feel like if i really had suffered a total rebirth, maybe, just maybe, i should let this go, too. and when i discovered that i couldn’t relate to a sadly beautiful song, “torch” but instead, only felt sympathy for her, and what she must be going through, i knew we’d come to a crossroads. when she said, “These are the days of raw despondence, and I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this.” it was no longer about me and someone. it was about her and ryan reynolds. and that’s all it would ever be about. well, fingers crossed, anyway ;op

but it was looking back at this path of rebirth and self-discovery that made it so much more fun to look to the future. to free myself from gut-wrenching worries. or at least, worry, but know that worrying was about as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. amiright? i look forward to horizons now. i’m still not the world’s biggest risk-taker, but i don’t automatically shy away from the unknown anymore. and fittingly, one last track of that last album was a perfect send-off, “giggling again for no reason:”

“I am driving in my car up highway one,  i left LA without telling anyone. There were people who needed something from me, but I am sure they’ll get along fine on their own. Oh this state of ecstasy; nothing but road could ever give to me. This liberty wind in my face – and I’m giggling again for no reason.

I am sitting at the set of cali sun,  we’ve gotten quiet for its’ last precious seconds. I can feel the salt of the sea on my skin, and we still hear the echoes of abandon.  Oh this state of ecstasy; nothing but road could ever give to me. This liberty wind in my face – and I’m giggling again for no reason.”

alanis is happy now, too. last i heard, she was in love in her new nuclear family. she got what was surely the best christmas gift ever; her first child, a son, was born this year. his name is Ever Imre. imre is hungarian (fittingly) and, loosely translated his full name means “always in charge” or “forever ruler of the home.” i think she’s come to a crossroads, too. and i think she, too, might just decide it’s time for rebirth and refocus and to leave the past behind. we’ll see.

so happy new year to you. i hope the next year – the next decade – all of your tomorrows give you some opportunity to find yourself giggling for no reason.

or maybe it’s because i value my own personal safety and those around me. either way, i want those friggin’ bike taxis out of the woodlands. they are a nuisance. they are a danger. oh, and since i’m on my soap box, they’re not local, either.

last night i got a good look at several of them. i sort of had to – they were swarming around my car in bumper to bumper traffic. turns out they’re up here from houston (surprise, surprise, right?) from a company called “space city bike cab.” i tried to figure out why they were here and how they got here by looking at their site, but seeing as how they only say they’re around reliant center, minute maid park, the grb, toyota center and downtown – we’re certainly off their radar. and since their rates page clearly states they don’t charge fares, only accept tips, i have to surmise someone is paying them to be here. the question is who? i of course know the answer to the question why. because we’re all too lazy to walk anywhere. sadly.

look, i admit to being lazy, so don’t jump my $hit for calling you lazy, too. and if you’re not, well, then you really can’t take offense. my point, and i do have one, is that the bike taxis are a pain in the ass. for several reasons.

1) their “drivers” don’t give a flying rat’s ass about traffic laws. case in point, last night. i’m in the bumper to bumper traffic on lake robbins drive, just before the pavilion. there’s a crapload of cars and pedestrians milling around due to the oktoberfest at town green park (and that’s another thing… hello? it’s september! and they wanted friggin’ $10 to go in to spend more money!!) and the old guys tom petty/zz top/joe cocker playing at the pavilion. while we’re waiting to go at the green light, because some asshat in a minivan has stopped in the street to offload his passengers, three bike taxis, one with people in it, come zipping up between us and the cars next to us in between the lanes, one between us and the sidewalk on the passenger side and two more between the other lane and the median. those two clowns stop traffic in that lane and the left-turn crossover because one of them is trying to turn around and has to lift his rickshaw up over the curb in the median. he nearly tipped it over. twice. and the four that passed my car on either side? the one with the people in it decided to squeeze between me and the car in front of me to turn right into the pavilion to drop his fare. except he couldn’t fit, so he was stuck there, sideways, inches from my bumper, with people sweating it out between my engine and the other cars exhaust.

2) they’re not from here. this is a two-fold issue for me. first of all, i like all things local. the woodlands is large enough now to be self-sustaining. if you don’t believe me, consider this: i haven’t been down to houston in over a year. prior to that it had been almost two. my doctor is here, my dentist, my bank, all my favorite stores, fabulous groceries, our mall has nearly all the same stores as the galleria (and those it doesn’t have i couldn’t afford anyway). i know this isn’t the same for everyone, especially if you have to work down there (i don’t, i work from home). but it is possible, that’s my point. the other issue i take with them not being local is tied to the first – which is, if you’re not from here, you don’t know anything about what is here. consider this: not everyone that goes to a concert at the pavilion lives here, yes? of course not. a lot of them come up out of houston. so, when they get here and find their way through the trees to park their cars, other than knowing that they’re headed for the big white tent, they don’t know where to go eat, where to have a drink after the show. so they hop on a bike taxi. they ask their peddler. guess what? he doesn’t know, either. so at the end of the night, they go home to houston with the same tired, biased opinion everyone in houston has of the woodlands which is there’s no place to go, no culture, no good dining establishments, etc. etc. because they didn’t know who to ask! because they asked the guys that came up here from houston with them!

3) they’re limited to two people (or one lardass; someone has to say it). so if you’re here from out of town and you’re in a group – maybe you all get to where you’re going at the same time, maybe you don’t. “oh, let’s hop on two (or three or four) little bike taxis and try to figure out where to go grab dinner before the show!” yeah, that works. you can talk to each other by text, right? and all decide to go to the cheesecake factory because at least everyone knows it and the bike taxi guys can find it. stupid. stupid, stupid.

there’s a much better alternative if i do say so. they go against all the reasons i’ve given for avoiding the bike taxis. they’re safe; because they’re street legal and obey traffic laws (they even have seatbelts if you’re so inclined). they’re local, so they know where stuff is (besides the big chain places). they’re local, so they know how to get from point a to point b. they’re local, so they’re not taking your money back down to houston. they’re larger, so you and all your friends can ride all at once and converse along the way. and they’re environmentally friendly, if that’s your thing (as in, “that’s why i like the bike taxis, they’re green”) because they’re all electric. that’s right, i’m talking about these people:

i’ve ridden on the go green eco taxi twice now. once some guy was driving (with the cutest little dog) and once with a woman (i think it must have been sara, the owner, cause that’s her in the video on their website). they’re both the nicest people. they know about the local restaurants, the best routes to take if you’re walking around, where the cops harass the drinkers and where they don’t. they’re cheap, too. $3. i mean, come on. three bucks no matter where you’re going or how long it takes them. that’s no worse than what you’d normally tip those bikers, right? plus they’re a wealth of information. plus they’re far safer than the rickshaw (i didn’t fear for my limbs when i was aboard, and i always see them in traffic when i’m driving). so why not? am i endorsing them? yes. do they know it? probably not (feel free to tell them, tho). and besides, aren’t they the cutest little cars you ever did see?

i know i committed to writing a post about all the advice to be offered in “wear sunscreen.” and i guess because of that, i keep putting off writing anything new because i think, well, i’ll have to come up with what i want to say about the next line, and oh, look, the laundry is waist deep again and oh, crap, i really gotta finish that site update before my client calls one more time asking about it and oops! off to the midwest, i should tell people about that…

so let me tell you. i’m busy. but aren’t we all? really? thank some higher-power entity for twitter. because at least that i can do 1-50 times a day while i’m working and let you know i’m alive… amiright?

so; these past few weeks, yes, i went to the midwest to see my family. this was bittersweet. on the upside, we spent a ton of time getting to know my nephew, who you might recall is just one year old. after he warmed up to me, we spent far too much time letting him crawl at me at top-speed and butt heads with me, goat-style. it hurt! but it was adorable!! so i let him do it over and over and over. went to bed with a headache both nights. the downside was this: my mom and my brother & sister-in-law hadn’t been getting along so well lately. mom’s a whiney-ass. s-i-l is a control-freak. bro’s caught in the middle. so we went up there thinking we needed to kick the kid’s asses. turns out, mom needed a talking-to. and in order to do that – we ended up hurting everyone‘s feelings. and pride. but in the end, in hindsight, i think they think it was for the best.

after we left there, we went to saint louis for a while. we didn’t tell them that. i realize that by writing the way i write, i’m simply asking to be outcast from my family one day. why the hell you think i’m so careful to not say who i am? anyway… we went to saint louis and did fun stuff like tour the budweiser brewery. we got to drink some bud light straight from the vat, pre-bottling. i hate beer as a rule – smells, looks and tastes like carbonated horse piss i say – but this stuff? holy crap! if beer always tasted this good, i’d drink it every day. we also went up in the arch, because, you know, ya gotta.

and since we were coming home from the east side of missouri, our travels took us through memphis. and you know what you gotta do when you go to memphis. so i’d never been to graceland and had to go. the boyfriend, he’d been three times before, but he assures me there’s more to see every time. we were kind of in a hurry, and the girl at the ticket counter assured us the tour we selected would take about an hour. maybe hour and a half. nope. three and a half hours later we were back on the road. but i now know more about elvis than i ever thought i would care to know!

what else? well… worked my ass off to be caught up to take a vacay (bor-ing! i know). took the vacay – six days of nearly no work at all! and a grand total of 33 hours and 2000 + miles behind the wheel. got back from vacay – found ourselves working 14-hour days for a week, when not stopping to go out for client meetings, grocery runs, pay the bills, run errands, etc. etc.

oh! and did i mention that i saw john mayer? *still grinning ear-to-ear* i mean, seriously. i loved his music before i went. i can’t say i love him – i mean, i don’t knowhim, it’s not fair to say. and he certainly doesn’t know me. but my god that boy can play! and yes, i get to call him boy because he is, after all, ever so slightly younger than me. slightly. a little. anyway… he’s positively masterful on the guitar, and an excellent songwriter to boot. and the closer the date of the show got, the more i found myself wanting to learn about him, and it turns out, despite his super-stardom level of famousness, he really is just about the most down-to-earth person you could hear about. seriously! and then, at the show, among his anecdotes about his wiffle-ball injury and his accidental funniness regarding which cover-tune he was gonna do next, his voice broke, and he stumbled while grasping for the right words, to express what it felt like – or at least attempted to express what it felt like – to be in a position wherein you’re famous enough that your name is mentioned in a story of a teenage girl who died on her way home. this poor 17-year-old girl, her whole life ahead of her, all she did was go to a mayer show, get in the car, and died on the way home. and his pain, his difficulty in comprehending this, stems from knowing that if she hadn’t been at the show, which she wouldn’t have been if it weren’t for him performing, she might not have died that day. some would call this narcissistic, i call this heavy. that’s a lot to take on.

so now i’ve nearly caught up to where i was before i got ready to go on vacay, and maybe next post i’ll pick up where i left off with “wear sunscreen” – or maybe i’ll post some pics. or vids. oh, yeah, i also went to goo goo dolls/switchfoot/green river ordinance. so that happened. oh, and i had some fantastically bad restaurant experiences. and some really great moments of hilarity.  yeah… so i’ll try to get back on track. we’ll see. but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? this vast, meandering experience that is a moment or two (or ten) in my head. welcome to my world. :o)

“this’ll only take a few minutes” – translates roughly to “this is totally easy, based on either a id-10t error or a loose nut between the keyboard and the chair”

“the best choice is to rebuild it/start over” – translates to “i’ll take it back to the office if you want, but basically, you’re f$#ked, and i hope you backed your $hit up sometime in the past decade” and

“this’ll take 15 minutes, tops.” – which translates to “this is actually going to take all night, and possibly half of tomorrow, because no matter how close i get to fixing it, there will be one last corrupted file and/or one last missing driver and/or one final fatal error that will keep you from your lunch/dinner/bedtime.

to which i’ve told him that the best way to keep jobs in the first or second catagory is to avoid claiming they fit in the third under any and all circumstances.

a funny thing happened yesterday, though. he didn’t curse a thing. in fact, he didn’t even make any claim as to how long it was going to take to do anything. wordpress, though, did me in. wordpress told me that upgrading the software on my blog would “famously take five minutes.” yeah, well… no. not really.

oh, *downloading* the upgrade took way less than five minutes. heck, even installing it still had me way under. it was the actual act of upgrading that got screwed. that, it turns out, had the infamous 15-minute curse written all over it. i should have known.

so here i am, finally, almost 24 hours later, almost completely back to normal. and in fact, in many ways, a better than normal. because now that the stupid upgrade seems to be working, i got to make a few cool changes. like adding some new *clickables* over yonder <— (howdy, doubleclicktech and bake@350!! ) and i was finally able to turn commenting back on, because i was finally able to include an actual, workable spam filter. so!

so thanks for enduring the black out. i’ll try not to have another for another couple of years. or so. ;op

but i digress…

this recent episode of bullying comes not from their hyper-vigilant police force (although they were involved) but instead from city hall. (“city hall” – ha!! another joke!!!) you know that sad little place tucked away over there alongside of sammoon center, used to be mustang sports and recently became 3star ice? i had high hopes for them. just a couple of guys, wanted to do somethinggood for the community. moved in and poured their hearts and souls into renovatingthe rink for hockey. give the kids around here somethingelse to do. and they busted their asses on it; first renovatingthe original rink, making it a roller rink for roller hocky, roller derby, skating lessons and so forth and so on. then they were going to put in an actual ice rink (hence the name, 3star ice) for actual ice hockey. i know, right? ice hockey down here in southwest texas! but you note the use of past-tense, right?

because apparently the folks over there at shenandoah have decided they didn’t want to deal with those pesky kids. they like things nice and quiet around there… the city (or shity, you know… “city” and “shenandoah” put together) insisted that the building be connected to their water and sewer systems. never mind that the building already has (and has had) serviceable water and sewer for over twenty years.never mind that no one ever said, claimed or even alleged that the water being used on site was ever supposed to be potable. never mind the when the shity issued it’s “special use permit” it knew full-well that the buildingit’s requiring be connected was going to be demolished in twelve months or less and a new building be built (and, of course connected). never mind that anyone could have had the well that is there tested for safety at any point in time. never mind that the septic system is also in working order. they went ahead and gave a deadline of january 1, 2010. the problem is, 3star (the renter/occupant of the building) didn’t find out that the land owner was going to let it be their problem until december, 2009. but did they whine or complain? no… they busted ass to get someone in there in a hurry, during the holiday season no less, to get them connected up. ah, but there’s the rub… connect to…. what? well, it helps if you can be told where the $#!& the connections are that the $#!&ing shity want you to connect to, right? but it seems that was just too much effort on the shity’s part. couldn’t get around to providing that little tid-bit of info. so they didn’t.

and in fact, the shity has actually been served with a subpoena to obtain said drawings. why a subpoena? oh, funny story. the shity sued one of the individuals that operates the facility. not the land owner. not the renter. one of the employees of the renter, individually. actually got a judge to issue a restraining order – and issue it without requiring service! and then sent one of their boys in blue (black?) over there to change the locks!!

and as for the suit, i can’t make this stuff up. you have to read it for yourself. they actually said that the shity (and i really am quoting here) “has no adequate remedy at law for the damages and injuries it will suffer if the injunctive relief is not granted because damages are incalculable.” and they “cannot provide a monetary amount sufficient to reimburse the harm caused to itself and its citizens.” in other words, the shity can’t calculate for the court the amount of money it’s losing because 3star is operating in their temporary facilities with running water and operating septic system that isn’t hooked up to shity systems that, incidentally, the shity has yet to reveal the whereabouts of to 3star. so it’s only relief of this alleged hemorrhage of funds is to shut the place down, without proper notice, they send a cop over there to change the locks to ensure they don’t even have access to their stuff to go do business elsewhere, and send cops around to harass anyone that happens to come by. in other words, if the shity ain’t making money, ain’t nobody making money.

oh! and speaking of money (because it’s always about the money) the heart of this whole matter? it isn’t the water. it isn’t the septic. it isn’t even really the kids, or hockey. it’s that the shity wants part of the land. for itself. you know, because they’re so bleedin’ successful at making land investments. that’s why the portofino center is nearly half empty. and the new tiny shopping center behind portofino is completely empty and has been since the day it was built. and the buildings just north of portofino that were supposed to be office condos are now ghost-town-esque skeletons with rotted and peeling tar paper and tyvek.

it has nothing to do with the safety of citizens. and it sure as shit has nothing to do with water. if the shity of shenandoah was so flippin’ concerned with whether or not it’s citizens and surrounding communities had safe water and operational sewage sytems, the folks over there in tamina would have had it long before now.

so f%#k you, shenandoah. i hope the woodlands swallows you whole and spits you out. a$$holes.

but what got the local media all abuzz was item #81: six woodlands water taxis getting a new home in Texas ($750,000). and i have to say, despite the fact that fox news is tv for the lemmings led by the blind, and despite the fact that i live here and so therefore feel obligated to defend the dignity of the woodlands, i have to say i agree. i mean really – have you seen the waterway? when it’s not green, it’s brown. but that’s just because the moss and algae have died off – you know, winter and all. and riding the water “taxis” is a complete waste of money and time anyway. the route is nearly a mile long, but it doesn’t actually go anywhere that you can’t get to in an easier fashion, like say, on foot. or if you’re in a hurry, on the trolley, which, by the way, is free, runs more often, has more stops, you can even exit anywhere along the line.

and even if you do have the time and money to waste, i ask again, have you seen the waterway? it’s totally gross! to quote another resident, “The waterway has turned out to be nothing more than a backed up drainage ditch. I am not suggesting that we should have glass bottom boats but, who wants to ride down a brown canal then turn around and go back? Why isn’t there some sort of filtering mechanism to put fresh water into it rather than let it be stagnant?” it’s totally true. despite the fact that the waterway could have created a link between lake woodlands and lake robbins, which, though really are nothing more than detention ponds anyway, would have at least offered an interesting waterway to want to tool around on. but instead, there’s a dam between the two lakes, both of which almost always have stagnant water. the only time the water even remotely looks inviting is right around the aerating fountains out by the highway.

so yeah, trying to keep the water taxis going is a complete waste of money. unless of course, we’re attempting to make the brown water green again by, you know, adding “green” to it. heh. wow, not even funny by my own low standards.

if we’re all just bumbling around trying to come up with a way to spend three-quarter mil, how about getting the damn traffic lights on the parkway synchronized? or running the trolleys till a reasonable hour, like say, 10:00?

Yen from Ocean's 11

for my loyal followers (all, what, eight of you?) that have been wondering just that, let me tell you:

• i added a new talent to my list of things i can do and get paid doing. no, nothing dirty, you gutter-dweller. i’ve become a web designer. Wo0t!
• i became increasinly obsessed with my new job, which, since i am after all, autonomous now, means i’m working like a dog for a complete bitch of a boss.
• i finally filed my taxes. don’t know what the f$^k took me so long, seeing as how i’m getting a hefty, healthy refund.
• i filed my mom’s taxes. or at least, i’ve gotten the job about 90% done. the remaining 10% of the job is 1% printing and mailing them and 9% explaining to her what the hell i did.
• i put on fifteen pounds. okay, not really. not just in six weeks. but sometimes i feel like that’s all it took. really though, it took a bit over 28 months, and i have to tell you, the self-loathing is palatable.
• i dined in several more restaurants for free (which probably has something to do with that 15 pounds. i’m just sayin’) due to either shitty service or shitty food or both.
• i stumbled upon a wine that could possibly make a wine-drinker out of me yet. aided and abetted by boyfriend’s declaration that hey, they say a glass of red wine a day is good for you.
• i picked up three more weekly hours of television that is in my “must see” list, bringing the total up to 14 1/2. thank god they don’t all run at the same time during the night, during the week, and in most cases even, during the year. keeps me down to a much more manageable 3 to 4 hours a week. but for you studio execs paying attention, take note: i am in the coveted 28-34 age group, a woman and firmly in the middle class. here’s the list of what must be seen…

          – grey’s anatomy                  - burn notice

          – private practice                 - white collar

          -  the deep end                    - in plain site

          – lie to me                           - psych 

          – house                              - mythbusters

          – the good wife                  - dirty jobs

          – life unexpected               - real time w/bill maher

          – and for some variety, a 30-minute show… tosh.0

• i went in for my yearly perm… only about four months later than usual. ahhhh…. bouncy curls once more.
• i discovered twhirl by seesmic, and wondered wtf i was waiting for, not having a real-time twitter feed on my desktop.
• i started a spreadsheet (a spreadsheet!) of new songs i wanna download find.
• i had a pointless email exchange with some higher-ups at hp, in which i attempted to get myself a new pc. for free. still might. i’m trying to kill this one. just kidding!!! damn p.o.s. will most likely implode any day now, just like it did the first three times. motherboard just goes kablooie. lesson here, kidlets – don’t buy an hp. dude, get a dell.

and so it goes… i got a lot of shit done. put some more irons in the fire. and thought every single day, “i really gotta blog.”

i did, i swear!!

so, forgive me? good. i’ll try not to let it lapse again. seriously.

in first place is the southwest corner of lake robbins drive and six pines road. i don’t know what it is, but i was really hoping that they would have fixed it when they rebuilt the pavillion. i swear to god it smells like somewhere just below the surface or behind the trees there is a conglomeration of all the septic tanks and all the food waste from the pavillion, and all the dead fish from the waterway. and it only got worse after the rebuilding. maybe that’s part of the problem with keeping a restaurant on the southeast corner; if you dine outside and the wind is right, you can smell it over there, too. you aren’t even safe in your car! i’ve developed a habit now of ensuring my sunroof is closed and my a/c is set on recycle when i drive by there.

a close second to this would be in the parking lot just behind cafe express and grotto. somehow, despite the fact that it’s only the dumpsters for two restaurants vs. the several that dump across lake woodlands drive behind p.f. chang’s, walking though the parking lot to go to either of these restaurants can surely make you loose your appetite altogether. and maybe even make you gag.

please, for the sake of our noses and appetites, figure out some way to get these horrifying odors expelled. if you want us to walk around and enjoy the scenery, you have to make it pleasant on all the senses.

i know you’ve been by a few times. and i don’t mind. in fact, i’m flattered, really. but – well, just one question…

seriously.