Comments on: to speak or not to speak http://www.thewoodlandsbiotch.com/twblog/2010/05/21/to-speak-or-not-to-speak/ Rants, Tirades and Musings on Life in The Woodlands, Texas Tue, 10 Jan 2012 16:19:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: biotch http://www.thewoodlandsbiotch.com/twblog/2010/05/21/to-speak-or-not-to-speak/comment-page-1/#comment-7 biotch Fri, 21 May 2010 20:56:06 +0000 http://www.thewoodlandsbiotch.com/twblog/?p=661#comment-7 pride on my part, or pride on hers? pride on my part, or pride on hers?

]]> By: Emily http://www.thewoodlandsbiotch.com/twblog/2010/05/21/to-speak-or-not-to-speak/comment-page-1/#comment-5 Emily Fri, 21 May 2010 19:17:46 +0000 http://www.thewoodlandsbiotch.com/twblog/?p=661#comment-5 She was mad at you. She may lie and say she was not, but she was. She just doesn't want to admit it. First of all, you need to decide if the friendship is worth the effort to rebuild. When a friendship takes a hard hit like that, it takes time to get it back to where it was. If that is even possible. If you decide that it is, then just let go of the fact she is lying about not being upset and move forward. (That's just a pride issue.) See where it takes you. It will take a period of time to get past that awkward "we-didn't-talk-for- months-so-much-has-happened-in-our-life-let's-catch-up" phase. If you decide it is too much trouble, don't keep it going. I had a similar situation happen last year. I was really getting to be best friends with someone when she did something really bad and pissed everyone off around us, including me and dh. I forgave her, but she distanced herself from everyone in our circle of friends. Burned some bridges, as well. She contacted me, completely out of the blue a few months ago. It is SO awkward. We are trying to catch up, but I have a feeling it will never be what it was and quite frankly, I'm not sure I want it to be since what she did was pretty bad. I do forgive her, but I also saw what she was capable of when you piss her off, ya know? I know that isn't the case with you, but as far as assessing the worth of the relationship, it is similar. Decide if it is worth it and then go from there. I hope it is! Good, adult friendships are hard to make and even harder to keep! (Sorry for the LONG post!) She was mad at you. She may lie and say she was not, but she was. She just doesn’t want to admit it.

First of all, you need to decide if the friendship is worth the effort to rebuild. When a friendship takes a hard hit like that, it takes time to get it back to where it was. If that is even possible. If you decide that it is, then just let go of the fact she is lying about not being upset and move forward. (That’s just a pride issue.) See where it takes you. It will take a period of time to get past that awkward “we-didn’t-talk-for- months-so-much-has-happened-in-our-life-let’s-catch-up” phase.

If you decide it is too much trouble, don’t keep it going.

I had a similar situation happen last year. I was really getting to be best friends with someone when she did something really bad and pissed everyone off around us, including me and dh. I forgave her, but she distanced herself from everyone in our circle of friends. Burned some bridges, as well. She contacted me, completely out of the blue a few months ago. It is SO awkward. We are trying to catch up, but I have a feeling it will never be what it was and quite frankly, I’m not sure I want it to be since what she did was pretty bad. I do forgive her, but I also saw what she was capable of when you piss her off, ya know?

I know that isn’t the case with you, but as far as assessing the worth of the relationship, it is similar.

Decide if it is worth it and then go from there. I hope it is! Good, adult friendships are hard to make and even harder to keep!

(Sorry for the LONG post!)

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