you’re a mean one Mr. Smith
you really are a heel.
you’re as cuddly as a cactus,
and as charming as an eel,
mr. smith!
you’re a bad banana,
with a greasy black peel!
you’re a monster, Mr. Smith!
your heart’s an empty hole.
your brain is full of spiders.
you’ve got garlic in your soul,
mr. Smith!
i wouldn’t touch you
with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
you’re a vile one, Mr. Smith!
you have termites in your smile.
you have all the tender sweetness
of a seasick crocodile,
mr. Smith!
given the choice between the two of you,
i’d take the seasick crocodile!
you’re a foul one, Mr. Smith!
you’re a nasty, wasty skunk!
your heart is full of unwashed socks.
your soul is full of gunk,
mr. Smith!
the three words that best describe you
are as follows, and I quote,
“stink, stank, stunk!”
you’re a rotter, Mr. Smith!
you’re the king of sinful sots!
your heart’s a dead tomato,
splotched with moldy, purple spots,
mr. Smith!
your soul is an appalling dump-heap,
overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
mangled-up in tangled-up knots!
you nauseate me, Mr. Smith!
with a nauseous super naus!
you’re a crooked jerky jockey,
and you drive a crooked hoss,
mr. Smith!
you’re a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
with arsenic sauce!
(if you don’t know who mr. smith is, feel free to click on his name in the first stanza. and if you want to know why i’m so pissed at him, click here.)
you’re a mean one, mr. smith