The Woodlands Biotch

i’ve had a number of experiences lately with people that aren’t exactly giving their all. frankly, it’s starting to piss me off. i mean, if you’re gonna go – go all out for pete’s sake! first it was the sacker at the grocery:
i like to use the smaller carts whenever possible. they’re more maneuverable. i go [...]

a while ago, for no reason whatsoever, a tune from my childhood popped into my head. for one week of each summer for eight years, i attended a foursquare church sponsored summer camp out near sonora, california called “old oak ranch” – my last summer session there as a counselor. which was fitting, as it turned out [...]

you’re a mean one Mr. Smith
you really are a heel.
you’re as cuddly as a cactus,
and as charming as an eel,
mr. smith!
you’re a bad banana,
with a greasy black peel!
you’re a monster, Mr. Smith!
your heart’s an empty hole.
your brain is full of spiders.
you’ve got garlic in your soul,
mr. Smith!
i wouldn’t touch you
with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
you’re a [...]