i really do give a damn. i do! all of my life i have been a very hard worker. i am dedicated to a fault. to the pain to quote wesley in the princess bride. not to the death. to the pain. but here’s what’s happened.
i loved my job until my job started to not love me back. and then i loved it anyway, out of obligation. and then out of sympathy. and then empathy. and maybe a little bit (painful as it is to admit) out of fear of the unknown. but recently, i’ve begun to notice that all that keeps me there is starting to fade. all the sparklies are not so shiny. it’s like a butt-ugly woman all dolled up like a clown; funny looking and distracting on the surface, but beneath that colorful exterior – just plain disturbing.
now i can’t talk too much about it yet. the time’s not right. but i think, in the future, i will. talk about it that is. a lot. meantime, i see myself strolling into work just a leetle bit later every day. and taking lunches that are just a leeetle bit longer (like two and a half hours today). and taking off work just a leeeetle bit earlier every day.
and i find myself asking myself whenever i have one of these transgressions – “what are they gonna do? fire me??”
heh.
a damn. see also: a f*%k or a $h@t