The Woodlands Biotch

so here’s the thing: here at our house we disdainfully avoided comcast; mostly because they were annoying, but partly because they were expensive and undependable. and in light of that second reason, we also did not have at&t; because while they’re not the only isp in the neighborhood, they sure like to act like they do. and since for some manymoons the boyfriend’s webhosting company required him to actually keep servers online here at headquarters, we needed static ip’s, which meant at&t was grossly expensive.

bottom line: we had someone else.

but then we started to run into a bit of an issue on thursday nights; there was a bit of a traffic jam come nine pm, i wanted to watch two shows, he wanted to watch one; we have two tv’s, two dvr’s, but not enough to really spread the wealth, and a disaster if we were out of town. just in time for er to go off the air forever, uverse is supposed to be coming online in our neck of the woods.

but it’s not so simple. we can’t just switch, what with the websites and all. so we had to transfer our hosts, that took a day or so. and then we had to cut off our current isp to allow at&t to bring in their stuff so that we could have dsl (which – side rant, is waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy slower than what we had) so that we can eventually have uverse so that we can finally record two shows while watching two other shows.

oh, and surf the web at cape and helmet required speeds. mind you, we may not host here anymore, but we build here, and slowish or somewhat slow speeds add up to huge aggravation.

so in order to do that, we had to get everyone talking to each other. i’ll spare you the three days worth of headaches the boyfriend went though, but i have to pass along the one conversation that had me nearly pissing myself:

at&t: thank you for calling dsl technical support, how can i help you?

bf: yeah, my modem is telling me our service is connected, i’d like to get a username and password so that i can configure it correctly.

att: oh, no, i’m sorry, sir, it says here you won’t have a complete order until tomorrow; you do not have dsl service yet.

bf: yeah, i know that. but i do. so if i could just get a username and password from you, that would be great. i’m using a non-at&t modem.

att: okay, certainly. can you provide me the model number of the modem you’re using so that i may assist you.

bf: dude, it doesn’t matter. it’s not an at&t modem. i just need a user name and password.

att: alright, if you could just read for me the status lights on your modem please.

bf: the status lights don’t matter. i have dsl. i just need a user name and password.

att: yes, i understand that. but you don’t have dsl yet, if you could just read me the status lights on your modem.

bf: no! no i won’t re- – look, i have dsl, i just want a user name and password!!!

att: no, sir, i’m sorry, you don’t have dsl yet; what is the model number of the–

bf: get. me. someone. that. speaks. english.

att: *blook* sir, i – i assure you i’m speaking english, but if you would like i can get my manager on the line…

bf: yes!!!! yes, please get your manager on the line!!!!!

in summary, we had dsl within a matter of minutes after this exchange. laughter was heard throughout the kindom. glances were exchanged. tears shed.

still no word on whether or not we’ll get uverse anytime soon, though.