with age comes wisdom
or at least, one would hope. did you hear about this one? two kids were tooling around the area last week robbing and attempting to rob people at gunpoint. they were caught and charged, thankfully. and i must admit, had they crossed paths with me, i surely might have peed myself in fear at the time. but looking back over the details of their short-lived so-called crime spree, it’s easy to figure out what it was about these hoodlums that makes it just a little easier to think, hey, maybe i could get out of a sticky sitch like this if i had to. let’s count the ways in which they sealed their own fate, shall we?
1) the truck they were driving was rather non-nondescript; to wit, it was blue, with a black driver’s door. 2) they did cover the license plates… with paper towels and duct tape. 3) they instigated all of their crimes within a 10-mile stretch of the highway, from Best Buy at 105 in Conroe to the Mall. 4) While they changed their “disguizes” (if you can call a hoodie and then a had a disguize) from victim to victim, they didn’t change their m.o. 5) the first victim wasn’t robbed, because she claimed to have only a few dollars and to have recently lost her job. 6) the second victim wasn’t robbed because as he reached for his wallet, he jumped to the other side of the truck so they fled…. next door, where, 7) they did manage to get an ipod and a wallet from a store employee at Best Buy, but they let him keep his keys. oh, and asked his shoe size. finally seeming to have been sucessful in actually getting something, they filled the truck with gas and made their way down to the mall. which is where they (8) stopped a woman outside macy’s and told her they’d shoot her if she didn’t give up her purse. but then when she refused a second time, they gave up and went 9) around to dillards to try their luck.
at which point they were caught. because really, even for the monkey county boys, catching two cretins cruising the mall parking lot at 10 in the morning on a saturday, in a blue pickup with a black door, puttering about 3 miles an hour through empty rows patroled by rent-a-cops and mounties and pointing shotguns out the window was not exactly hard-boiled detective work.
and the really sad part is, in exchange for the four counts of aggrevated robbery, four first degree felony charges, it would seem by all accounts i can find the total actual haul for them was a tank of gas. except, of course, for the fact that – oh, yeah – they’ll impound the truck as its now evidence and an accessory to the crime, and once they’re hung out to dry it’ll get auctioned off with that full tank.
sheesh. and the gas was probably only $1.59 a gallon.
morons.
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