The Woodlands Biotch

so there’s this fat-ba$tard type at the office. who, sadly, is pseudo-in-charge. and today the girl up front called me to ask me a very peculiar question about him. she said, “he’s in his office snoring, should i go wake him up?”
i $hit you not.
i of course called the boss, brown-nosing-a$$-kisser-tattle-tale that i am. the [...]

i think i mentioned how i had decided to go and buy the entire series of sex and the city after seeing the film. so i did. and i thought i got a great bargain on it, seeing as how i bought it from a classified ad listing on sell.com. i mean, come on; a [...]

years ago, i went to the circus for the first time. i was already too old for it, having roamed the earth for nearly 18 years. but it was a date, a real, honest-to-goodness date, without parental-unit supervision, so i went. i believe it was the shriner’s circus. i don’t remember much about it, other [...]

my anniversary came and went at the office without any fan-fare. i had anticipated this very possibility, seeing as how i’d previously learned that someone very undeserving had recieved a raise for no apparent reason other than because they whined about how broke they were all the freakin’ time. in anticipation of this, i’d sent [...]

some call it an obsession, some call it an addicition, some call it a way to get out of bed in the morning and some call it a reward for all their hard work. all i can say is, thank the coffee gods in seattle for sparing all The Woodlands Starbucks in the announced cut-backs. When [...]

there’s something darkly disconcerting about having someone knock on your door that you don’t know. someone was here. i didn’t speak. he went away. good.
i don't know you

I get behind. I took a vacation so I could feel caught up, feel relaxed and energized, but all it got me was further behind. Because now it’s been days again and I’m just now writing about my vacation.
So I went to Austin. He and I decided to take a few days, get outta town, [...]

somewhere nearby here, someone either killed a skunk, scared a skunk or $*&@ed a skunk, but my office reeks. like to the point that my eyes are watering. Holy God in Heaven.
Skunk!

one of the things i know i’ve said repeatedly that make it more fun to be the biotch is that here my alter ego is relatively well hidden in the shroud of cyber-anonymity. so imagine my suprise when i recieved a call on my (of course) unpublished mobile phone from a man who claimed to [...]